


A wish for a magician

by Il_matto



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, M/M, Sort Of, and some other characters, birthday fic, honourable mentions of Natsume's mother and Sora and everyone's Hibiki Wataru, these two are so complicated but still I am so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22544734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Il_matto/pseuds/Il_matto
Summary: When Natsume wakes up on the day of his sixteenth birthday he believes there is nothing for him to wish for after loosing so much in past war. But life has its plans even when it comes to a young magician's fate.
Relationships: Aoba Tsumugi/Sakasaki Natsume
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	A wish for a magician

The morning of his sixteenth birthday is the first morning of his life he wakes up absolutely alone. Actually, he doesn’t even wake up at his home, so he can’t hear any of his cats’ purring while resting on the side of his pillow. A soft and gentle sound, that helps to sweep all the dreams away and to start getting ready for the new day is not here. So the silence of his secret room, the only safe place he has now in this school somehow feels suffocating.

He takes it as a sign that a time to start growing up has really come for Sakasaki Natsume. So he needs to stop thinking about the day of his birth as of anything but another day.

He still checks the notifications on his phone, just to confide that he didn’t miss a call from his mother. Her leaving for an unplanned business trip is one of the reasons Natsume has decided to stay at his self-created shelter and to waste time with meaningless experiments. No matter how many times it happened before he still doesn’t feel himself completely at home without his mother being there. Maybe it’s because of her strong spiritual power that brings their house to live and fills every object with the elegant magnificence of her presence. They are still going to have a proper family dinner to celebrate once she returns. But for now. For now it would be enough for Natsume to hear his mother’s voice and to answer to his father’s laconic message. It’s not like he would ever doubt their love after all these years.

And yet, there still something that doesn’t make it easier for him to stay alone with his father. It has nothing to do with the fact that he has always had so much more admiration for his mother and her amazing powers. (And he even aspired to become like her so badly that during those embarrassing days of his childhood he hates bringing up he had so much fun looking at the mirror and thinking that one day he will surelly become as beautiful… His head start hurting just at the single thought about it) And it’s not like he could ever be disappointed with his parents even while being such a spoiled child. And still… There’s still a quiet bitterness when Natsume thinks that it was thanks to his father’s insistence that he came to this school. To this orchid of youth where the stage for the bloody revolution has been created. To this story which character he was forced to become despite remaining absolutely useless and helpless, just a frightened child included to the play to fit the numbers. To these days full of hungry doubt that is eating his self-esteem inside out and makes him wonder why was he ever sure he had enough qualities to make himself a worthy protagonist.

The time that gave him so much happiness just to reap it away and leave with nothing to replace the emptiness.

So he feels like a living ghost at his sixteenth birthday. He, the only of the Five Oddballs who has survived, thanks to his brothers’ noble sacrifices. He was able to run and to stay alive and yet, now, laying in his secret room on the underground floor, Natsume feels like he is being buried.

Buried alive in this cold yet thick loneliness that crawls up his skin and is stuck in his throat like a dirt and he feels like he’s about to vomit.

… Wait, this is probably just because the last time he has eaten was yesterday’s morning. Oh well.

No matter how stagnated and empty his soul is, his body still struggles to live and demands things necessary to sustain it. This is human nature. Usually annoyed at how limited his cage of flesh and bones is, Natsume feels somehow relieved now. At least it is something he can control in his life.

He makes sure he looks at least barely decent as he leaves the room to crawl through the school corridors to the cafeteria. His secret passages are still a big help as he has no wish to run into any of his classmates or teachers who might scold him for skipping classes or homeroom duties. Such possibility is low though, because it’s time for classes. But no one can grant him for sure that he won’t get himself into an unpleasant conversation. So he should be really careful.

The cafeteria is almost empty and it greets him with silence, and yet Natsume remembers. He remembers whispers and gazes full of envy. He remembers his abilities being acknowledged and even admired and yet for the first time of his life that admiration was a cold poison that made his skin crawl with a shiver. He still feels these goose bumps running down his spine so he hurries to get his mind busy with something. Something like counting calories of the dishes on today's menu so he'll be able to make profit for his body with every ingredient.

So, when his stomach growls and his mouth starts watering when he passes a stand with desserts and fresh pastry, Natsume feels himself betrayed. Well, they DO have some decent stuff in Yumenosaki, is today is that day of week when they bring their freshest and most exclusive food? What was that day again, Wednesday, Thursday?

...What day is it today, though, aside from something so unimportant as his birthday?

Natsume looks over the empty cafeteria and proceeds to one of the tables in the corner so he won't be noticed by any visitors. His mind still suggests him pictures with colorful creamy cupcakes but he swaps them away with no hesitation. He knows that his body begs him for sugar, but refuses to fulfil the request because it feels to him so... Pathetic.

As if he is nothing but a depressed teenager who can't deal with his lonely thoughts without a reliance on glucose and carbohydrates. Who is about to spend his birthday alone in the underground room of his school with nothing but some messages on his phone and a series of chemical experiments that will keep his mind busy. Having a cupcake will only make this scene even more miserable.

So he finishes his meal quickly and walks away without darting a single look at that stand with such warm and tempting smells. This is a choice he makes with his own head.

Of course Natsume knows it though. That the biggest part of the situation he is now in consists of his own decisions and choices. And of course he can have it another way.

It's not even that late to enter his homeroom and to listen to Subaru's whines of _whereyouvebeenforsolong_ or _youregoingtofailalltestslikethat_. Such scolding is what friends do though, isn't it? It's not like despite that tragedy that darkened his youth he has no friends.

He can even... No. He wouldn't dare. No matter how confident he is in brothers' power to recover from the ashes and to move forward, he still can't dare bothering them. Didn't they give him all the love they could already? Didn't they protect him long enough? With such thoughts in his head Natsume skips the second-years' floor so he won't run into any of his beloved friends. Or into those who were their enemies on the other side of that bloody war. Or even...

Well That person is the last human on the Earth Natsume wants to see today for. Various reasons.

And yet he is not even surprised when, a couple of hours later, he hears Aoba Tsumugi knocking the door of the secret room.

"Natsume-kun, you're in here, aren't you?"

Well. If he ignores him, he will get tired and walk away soon.

"If you're pretending you're not, please don't do that ~ You are always getting so mad at me, when I have to enter the room without your permission ~ "

Then just how about just. Not entering it? Natsume rolls his eyes in a quiet yet constant irritation that never lets him go every time he realizes he can't avoid someone's unpleasant company.

And for some reason Tsumugi remains that unpleasant person Natsume can never get rid of. Not with this annoyingly cheerful voice that keeps reaching his ears despite space and the closed door between them.

"Well, okay, you can't really quit until you try, so pardon in advance my intru..."

"Just what do you need from Me, Senpai?", Natsume hisses, surprised himself that he managed to get to the door in one jump and open it before Tsumugi even managed to touch the doorknob. He really is slow, isn't he?

But a wide smile is rather quick to bloom on his face that has quite an unhealthy color thanks to the poor lights of the underground archive.

"I am so glad that you listened to me, Natsume-kun," Tsumugi almost sings it out despite just receiving a surely unwelcoming greeting. Well, he never feels the atmosphere. "And, by the way, happy birth..."

Natsume closes the door.

"Oh, come on, you don't have to be so mean!" Tsumugi whines as he is sincerely offended and it's easy to imagine how childishly he puffs his cheeks. "You're supposed to become older and wiser this day, and yet you're the same rude child as you were the week before..."

"Well nothing can really change in one Week, don't you know That?" Not in case of their relationship for sure. Natsume doesn't even knows will the Time, the greatest magician of nature, be able to make into... What do they want it to be, though? "How did you even Know?"

"Oh, that was pretty simple, Natsume-kun! We had plenty of your and other Oddballs' data, and, as you know, I was in charge..."

"It's Fascinating, how you believe that I'm going to let you in after bringing up such hurtful Things."

"I only answered the question you asked..." Tsumugi sighs and despite wooden door between them, Natsume feels honesty in his breathing. But he also knows, that it might be that honesty that is Tsumugi's sharpest and most painful sword. "Oh, and I brought you a letter from Hibiki-kun..."

Wait, what?

"I don't believe It," Natsume says, his throat goes dry in instant. "There's no way he would..."

"I didn't say he gave it to me personally, it's just that... Oh, hello there again!"

Natsume only raises his eyebrows sceptically as he opens the door one more time. He examines the appearance of his uninvited guest to finally find a couple of clues to resolve the mystery on his uniform and especially in his hair.

"These Feathers. They surely belong to one of Shisho... Wataru-niisan's Doves. "

"Exactly! That cute little creature suddenly appeared in the library and I barely managed to convince it to leave through the window!" Tsumugi explains as he carefully pulls a white envelope out of his pocket. "It seemed to like my hair a lot as it tried to make a nest on my head... I almost panicked, you know?"

"That's why you should cut this mess Already, what kind of scarecrow have you turned yourself Into?" Natsume tries really hard not to snatch the letter out of Tsumugi's fingers impatiently, but he doesn't want to hear another whiny lecture about him being immature. Luckily, Tsumugi turns out to be clever enough to finally hand him over the envelope. It doesn't really look like he is planning to leave though, as he smiles shyly, stepping from one foot to another, his other hand is still behind his back.

His entire face screams something like _please don't mind me while you're spending time on something more useful than me, by the way I am sorry for the air of this room that is being wasted on me_ and Natsume wants to punch him.

But just for this special day's occasion he decides not to. He doesn't even close the door, only turns away to pretend for five minutes that no one else is here. Just. As. He. Planned. He is going to deal with it later.

For now, he is much more focused on studying the envelope from his former teacher. White paper has a strong scent of roses, these colorful flowers of love and passion that person loved to surround himself with, and even more than that he was fond of giving them to other people. As his (never actually acknowledged out loud) disciple, Natsume was so spoiled with that roses that he had to keep a vase in his secret room. It looks so lonely and empty now, though, that he thinks about putting it into the closet.

He thinks that he knows what to expect when he opens the envelope, but his hands still shake with surprise when he sees no letter in it. Not a single piece of paper, but so many buds of some flower he can't recognize, that he had to admit: his former teacher really is a person whose magic is hard to grasp easily. He carefully takes one of the flowers and opens up its petals gently, to see a yellow, bright like rays of the sun.

Daffodils.

In the very beginning of the last winter month he receives flowers that represent coming of spring. That promise him an inevitable rebirth. Natsume can't help it but smiles.

His teacher has never been very straightforward. And yet it looks like he really was a decent disciple. Because he understands and feels gratitude.

... Until he hears Tsumugi's voice that brings him back to earth and even further, to the underground level of their school.

"You seem to be really pleased, Natsume-kun." How can he know that for sure if he's only able to see Natsume's back? "I wonder what kind of words Hibiki-kun could have written if they managed to lighten your mood so easily ~"

"As if I am going to tell something personal like this to one of our past Enemies." Natsume carefully closes the envelope and puts it into the pocket of his lab coat. And only then he turns to see a rather decisive look on Tsumugi's face.

"Past enemies or not, I have also come to wish you a happy birthday ~" He nods to his own words and rises a finger to the air in a teacher like gesture. "And believe it or not, it's not going to be a wooden horse or whatever you're thinking about..."

An unexpected mythology reference almost makes Natsume snort. But he is quick to stop the movements of the corners of his mouth.

"You spend too much time in the Library, Senpai." That's what he says instead. "And your way too long hair attracts lots of dust and Dirt."

"Well, as a member of the library committee, I am more concerned about doing what I have to do. And, as your senpai,"

Tsumugi finally shows his second hand he had behind his back the whole time and with an awkwardly cheerful smile demonstrates a simple paper bag that smells... Rather familiar.

"I couldn't help it, but wanted to make sure you won't feel lonely on your birthday, Natsume-kun. I know, that it is partly my fault, so..."

For first thirty seconds he just stares at this person. At his stupidly sincere smile and the way his eyes shine behind thick lenses of these ugly glasses Tsumugi has recently started wearing. And especially at his ungracefully curled hair with small white feathers left in it. How couldn't he ever waste five minutes on taking care of himself?

How can _he_ even call Natsume lonely after shutting himself in the dusty space of the school library no one ever will care for real about?

What is the first thing Natsume tries to do is to step on one of Tsumugi's feet. But he misses it with a shame, so everything he is left to do is to take the bag out of the outstretched hand with the most unimpressed face possible for a person as filled with rage as he is now.

He opens the pocket just to close it in a second and to stare into Tsumugi's face one more time. He is smiling apologetically in advance.

"If you don't like it, we can go and I'll buy you something of your choice, or..."

"It's a Cupcake." Natsume claims it in an almost official tone, just to confirm the existence of the contents of the bag. So none of them is able to step back.

"I know, right?" Tsumugi's face brightens as he starts wasting too much words on explanation. "I thought about buying a whole cake at first, but that would be too much, and too heavy to carry home if I was not lucky enough to find you today, and I am really clumsy in winter... So I saw these cute things in our cafeteria, and realized that this is the best choice!"

"Why is its color so Weird, Senpai?" Natsume finally puts the cupcake out of the bag on the table and studies it as a result of one of his experiments.

"Erm, I don't really know... Green is not really a natural colour, I guess?" Without turning his head Natsume can see Tsumugi biting his lip. "But it looked so cute, and it's the only cupcake that has two creams inside. Banana and chocolate to be precise! You love food with two flavors, right?"

"Was that also on my Data?" Natsume scoffs, but regrets it immediately as he sees a confused look in Tsumugi's eyes.

"I don't really remember." That is all he says. "Maybe I've got it wrong?.."

"No. You're quite Right. It's not like I am very enthusiastic about Sweets, Though. Sugar is not a friend for an idol or anyone who wants to have a good skin..."

"But today is your birthday, so it wouldn't hurt much if you spoil yourself~" Tsumugi interrupts him rather impolitely while searching for something in his almost stuffed pockets. "Here, look, I even have a candle so you can make a wish and blow it!"

"Why do you even have candles in your Pockets?" Natsume wonders but can't really make himself push Tsumugi away when he has such a pure enthusiasm in his eyes and tries to put a candle in the cupcake as gracefully as possible without brushing away any of it unnaturally bright green cream.

It's not like he doesn't know the answer or even wants to listen to it. But Tsumugi says it of course.

"Well, as a formal leader of Fine I thought it was important to maintain a friendly atmosphere in the unit, though it was rather hard. Of course we were too busy to have fun like others in high school do, but I tried to make a surprise for Hiyori-kun's birthday. He wasn't really impressed unfortunately. But he took us to the restaurant and forced to order so much that our stomachs were aching the next day~"

There is still something sharp and empty in Tsumugi's laughter even if he talks about it with a nostalgic smile. That makes Natsume remember that he is not the only one who has lost something precious. Maybe it's the compatibility of their inner hollowness that brings them together. That made Natsume decide to stuck with this hopeless person.

That makes Tsumugi's loneliness which existence he seems not to know about find the loneliness Natsume tries to deny and bury so deep that he can also pretend that it doesn't exist in the depths of his heart.

Maybe that's why seeing this hopeless person is hard and brings Natsume to the verges of annoyance he has never experienced before, and yet.

He hears a short snap and without even asking it out loud he can tell that a small lighter in Tsumugi's hand has the same fire that turned all the evidence of war crimes and his childish hopes and dreams into the ashes that was blown away by a cold autumn wind.

And winter is about to end so soon.

"I don't mind that it is Green, Senpai" That is what Natsume says instead of everything he could, but it already surprises Tsumugi enough that he almost drops the lighter out of his fingers."Green is a rather good Color. It is often associated with Magic."

It is always a color of spring.

"I'm glad that you like it in the end, Natsume-kun ~" Tsumugi lets out a loud sigh of relief. "After all, you don't see much of green in winter, maybe this is why it seemed to be so lively to me ~"

... And maybe, just maybe, something can really come out of their attempts to move forward together.

"So, what kind of wish are you going to make?"

No, that is not happening. Natsume gives Tsumugi a severe look.

"What kind of magician am I if I will rely on such obnoxious and childish Traditions?" he wonders. But to his surprise Tsumugi dares to protest.

"I am, of course, nothing at magic, but doesn't it make you hope for something? I know that nothing can happen if you're not working hard to make your dreams come true, but you know. Every time you blow the candle you just wonder. How long will it take for you to get what you want? Maybe you will learn something on your way to it? Maybe you will find something more precious than what you wanted to get?"

There's something in Tsumugi's voice that makes Natsume recognize someone. Not only that naive and hopeful fool who believed with all of his heart in justice of Tenshouin's plan, but someone else. Someone hopeless from the days he pretends not to remember, someone so clumsy and so no good and yet so unbelievably kindhearted.

"Don't you think that it is somehow similar to the fortune telling, Natsume-kun?"

That person could become quite a good magician if he worked hard enough. And that Tsumugi-niisan Natsume knew once upon a time had always given his best.

"I don't want to hear some amateur's rambling about Fortune Telling." Present day's Natsume just huffs and hits Tsumugi's side with his elbow. "But I guess I'd better hurry Up. Maybe I should make a wish about you cutting your Hair, so it wouldn't be a shame for me to stay in the same room with You."

Tsumugi shakes his head and laughs, so light-hearted that it makes Natsume shrug his shoulders.

"I am very sorry ~ I can't do it, because there's a promise that I kind of want to fulfil ~ So please make a wish of something you would really want to come true ~ "

"Fine, after all I can always tie you to a chair and make a work by my own Hands," Natsume murmurs and, ignoring completely Tsumugi's frightened squeak, stares at the small fragile fire that eats so hungrily the colorful candle.

He stares at it, trying to remember his mother's lectures of how to predict future with objects that are not a crystal ball. But all he can think about is that there's a couple of old mugs in the cupboard and they are going to be useful if he wants to make a tea. It's not like he WANTS it but it would be so impolite of he just to see away a person who came to wish him something good for his birthday. And this cupcake is still too big for him to eat it all by himself.

A small fragile flame dances as if winking to him, and Natsume remembers. He remembers a short talk he had with his mother an hour or more ago. She has never maked him predictions on his birthday, as the future is unpredictable and these presents are too unreliable, and yet. Today was some sort of exception.

_"I think that this day might give you something that you will never want to let go."_

He just wants to know if it is really possible for him, who has lost so much and has nothing to lose at this very moment.

"... You are working really hard on your wish, Natsume-kun. But the candle is not infini..."

Natsume blows a candle with a death stare and a panicked look in Tsumugi's wide-opened eyes makes it so worth it.

"Have you you made any wish at all?? I didn't get it! It's okay, I can even find another candle..."

"Stop whining Around, Senpai, what is done is Done. If I have made a wish then I'll tell you next year if it comes True. Of Course, if I am satisfied with your Behaviour."

And he stands up to busy himself with making a tea to ignore his senpai's happy bubbling of how he "is glad that Natsume-kun doesn't mind to stuck around him for a year". And to confide himself that he might know the answer already, but he is so bad at it.

It doesn't really help that he, a magician who grants others' wishes instead of wishing on a star like a little child, has a desperate earning that grows in him with every day. That he knows that his wish is just impossible to be granted with his own hands and yet is so painfully simple.

***

Natsume's seventeenth birthday can be called anything but lonely. It is filled with attention and jokes from his friends and classmates, and admiration of his precious brothers on his growth. And with a warmth of _his own_ unit, filled with dazzling light of his precious disciple, because Switch needs Sora's kindness just as much as this precious boy needed their protection. Natsume feels his hand squeezed and his heart is almost full of joy. There's only one thing he remembers.

He is born at the very beginning of the last winter month, which nights full of hopeful dreams for spring's arrival. While Yumenosaki's walls are starting to whisper about graduation ceremony.

"Happy birthday, Natsume-kun ~ " Tsumugi smiles at him as it has nothing to do with him. As if he is not busy lately with choosing a path for his future. "Anzu-chan worked really hard on this cake, so, please, make a proper wish while blowing the candles ~ "

The only wish he really wants to come true is a simple sentence that lays like heavy stones on Natsume's usually so fluent tongue.

_(Just tell me you're staying with me. Don't leave everything we have reached so far. It's not that hard for you, is it?)_

But he can't allow himself be so selfish no matter how much he wants it. He can't just step on the way to someone's happiness. Even if it makes his own lay in ruins.

He blows the candle with nothing but a silent wordless scream because there are no words he can deceive himself with.

"Well, if you wants to do something for me with your own Hands," he starts off and he tries so hard to sound sarcastic instead of pathetically bitter. "Just cut this dumb Hair, so my eyes won't hurt while looking at you until your Graduation."

He already knows the answer. He has learned it by heart during this year, and, maybe it's what he wants to hear until the end of the world. Something so simple and silly and yet so strong like a spell of a real magician.

"I can't cut it, Natsume-kun. I've made a promise."

It took them a lot of time, but looking back at that day of his high school years, Natsume understands that the wish which existence he tried to deny so badly had been granted long before he could even realize.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to our charming magician Natsume! And happy sixth months to my falling into this sweet natsumugi hell. I love them so much that of course I could not resist celebrating such an important date. It doesn't sound like a big amount of time, but I can't even count all the positive emotions and things I received during this period. Enstars has given me something I never knew I wanted that bad, so I can't stop my sentimental rumblings, I am so sorry. But I hope this is only the beginning of our journey.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Btw I've just made an EN side-account on Twitter, so feel free to talk to me there if you want to: @starrynighttea


End file.
